In this first #SEMFILTRO meeting, Diana Dahre, Keli Savieto, Fabiana Bruno and Ruben Torrego we have one of the most controversial issues openly these days, in practice, it is the tradition of the old days.
Our monogamous Western culture offers a fairly simple view of relationships. The way is clearly explained to us by these four friends …
Families and society, expects us to find someone, we fall in love, we go to some meetings, we live together, we establish ourselves as a couple, we commit, we marry and we live happily ever after.
Some polygamous people refer to this as the escalator relationship. “Once you’re in the escalator relationship,” it’s defined as the one that ends in marriage, and ideally children.According to this myth, Any relationship that does not fit into this idea is considered a failure.For many polyamorous people, however, this is not the case. “Success” in polyamorous relationships is defined by the people in this relationship, not necessarily by culture.
Just as the Greeks had many different words for love, polygamous people may find that they experience different kinds of relationships with different people. Certainly, for some people, polyamory may offer opportunities for sexual exploitation, but for others it may allow for the building of close family ties, simply with more people. For others, it may mean setting up scattered networks of love at a distance, and for some of us, that means there is room for all this: everything from casual encounters and romantic but not sexual friendships, a commitment deeply committed to living . in associations. The difference, for polynomials, is that our relationship model does not tell us how to structure these relationships.
Some poly people prefer to structure their relationships to resemble the relationship scheduler model, only that there are more people in it. These people still expect to find someone new, fall in love, set up a meeting for a period, and then consider adding that new partner to their current home before they can make some sort of long-term commitment or raise their children together. In other words, it looks a lot like monogamy, just with more people. This is the version of polyamory that is most often seen in the media, as it is easier for those outside the community to understand and relate, but it is far from the most common poly relationship structure.
Some people can share their space with people who are not sexual partners but who are still committed to parts of their lives. Some people may also choose to be parents with people they do not have relationships with or with couples they do not cohabit with, or choose which aspects of a “conventional” relationship structure apply and do not apply to each relationship.
Many polygamous families with children are indistinguishable from the “mixed families” we are seeing more in our society as a result of divorce (except in general, less pungent!). On the other hand, some divorced monogamous couples are choosing to build lifestyles that look very similar to polyamorous families, with ex-spouses who choose to continue to share the home and raise their children outside with others.
Poli can also allow childless people to remain loving and supportive of couples who want to have children, people with unequal sexual impulses (when one partner has homosexual preferences but maintains relationships with heterosexual couples is also very common in this practice), to stay in relationships happy and romantic with partners with whom they are perfectly suited, and people in relationships long distance relationships to find local fellowship without damaging their existing relationship.
These four friends make it very clear to us that polyamory is not just going out with people with “specific qualities” to make sure that all their “needs” are met, the idea of adding all partners to create a kind of gestalt ” perfect partner “” It is in fact flawed objectified ”
Polyamory has also made it possible for many people to experience different types of relationships with people with whom they would not normally be compatible. Poli makes it possible to be something small, but good in someone’s life, and vice versa, without having to put any more expectations into that particular relationship. It allows you to play “see where things are going” without feeling pressured to find the only “perfect” partner.